A Kiss To Build A Dream On
a short story
by Filip Huta
“Give me a kiss to build a dream on...”
There was a song by Louis Armstrong playing in the background, but neither one of them had the opportunity to enjoy it. They were deeply immersed in their own little worlds, two worlds that were just joined by a single sentence – and it remained to be seen for how long. Another sentence could split them forever.
“...and my imagination will thrive upon that kiss...”
He looked at her for a split second, but turned away quickly. He was too scared, he was literally trembling. She hadn’t spoken since he’d told her. Was it a good thing or a bad thing? He wasn’t sure. But the silence was killing him. His hopes were getting lower by the second.
“...sweetheart, I ask no more than this...”
She didn’t know what to say. He’d just professed his feelings for her and she didn’t feel quite the same way about him. Was she supposed to tell him that? Was she supposed to wrap it up in all those little nice words? In the end, it hardly matters. Unrequited love is tough, but when it gets out, it gets worse. Literally like a cat out of a bag, it scratches, bites, screams and hurts everyone around.
“...a kiss to build a dream on.”
She was definitely taking too long. How long should he wait? Should he ask her again? That would be pushing it too far, probably. There was not much for him to do now. He could just wait and see what happens next.
“Give me a kiss before you leave me...”
What was he thinking? He just comes to her and tells her a thing like that, so casually, like he was asking what day it was. She never saw it coming, and now, she was at loss for words. It was his fault, anyway. He got her into this situation, so he shouldn’t be expecting much.
“...and my imagination will feed my hungry heart...”
He didn’t know if it was the right thing to do. But he felt he had no choice. This kind of feelings is quite sneaky. It comes to you and you don’t notice. It stays with you for a while and you get used to it. It grows and you expect it. Then... it’s too late. He had no choice – it was either telling her or never seeing her again, and he couldn’t bear the latter.
“...leave me one thing before we part...”
He was a friend. A good one, and she didn’t want to lose him. In a way. Damn, it was all his fault, making her think about it. She could’ve had a nice normal life, sans complications, but he had to come along and stir things up. Complicated things ask for simple solutions. It was a yes or no thing. So why couldn’t she force herself to pick?
“...a kiss to build a dream on.”
He had it all dreamed up so nicely. He was thinking about it for days, weeks and months before, and he felt he had foreseen every possible outcome. He was so wrong. This was going worse than he had ever thought was possible. He was expecting an answer. Every possibility he thought of was taking that for granted. It wasn’t coming and that was killing him.
“When I’m alone with my fancies...”
Yes or no. Maybe she could flip a coin. Why was it so hard? She never had any problems like that in the past. What was so different today? In the past, she had no trouble telling the truth, even the unpleasant one. Why was it so difficult now?
“...I’ll be with you...”
It slowly dawned upon him that maybe he had made a mistake. And a selfish one at that. He had forgotten to think about what she’d think, what she’d feel. He was so concerned with himself he totally left out her side of the deal. Things will change after today, and they will change a lot. Maybe it won’t be for the better. Maybe, sometimes, what we’ve got really is as good as it gets. Maybe...
“...weaving romances...”
Turning down suitors in the past, she had a significant advantage. She wasn’t involved in any way. This time, she already cared about him. That changed things, made them too complicated. She was in the middle already, and how was she supposed to get out? Was she even supposed to? She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.
“...making believe they’re true.”
He’s such an idiot. Instead of settling for what he’d had, he simply had to try it. To bet everything on this one thing that never even had the slightest chance of working. He could see it now, so why not earlier? He simply had to try it for himself, didn’t he? Where did this get him? He just screwed up big time.
“Give me your lips for just a moment...”
She wasn’t even sure she didn’t feel anything for him. Of course – because she did. She liked him, she cared about him, she enjoyed his company and all that. Aren’t those supposed to be the components of love? What if the rest is just some silly chemistry that means so little? What if it would really work?
“...and my imagination will make that moment live...”
He hated himself so much right now. He had just ruined a great friendship, and it was all for nothing. It wasn’t so much about him – he deserved the pain as a punishment, but what had she done to deserve this? She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. She had nothing to do with this, yet he had to get her involved. Misery loves company.
“...give me what you alone can give...”
She tried not to think about it, because she knew it would get things even more complicated. But it kept coming back and she couldn’t stop it. She looked at him. He was looking so guilty. His eyes looking straight down, like a little boy done wrong. He hadn’t done anything wrong, had he? In fact, it was quite a brave thing to do. Her head was stirring a bit, so she closed her eyes. For crying out loud, she even liked what he looked like.
“...a kiss to build a dream on.”
There was nothing he could do to fix this anymore. He had to open his mouth, and this is what happens. He wanted to look up at her, but he couldn’t. He was too scared of what he’d find there. It wouldn’t surprise him at all if she’d laugh in his face. That’s what he’d deserve. If he was in her shoes, that’s probably what he would’ve done right now. There was nothing more to say, it was over. He turned around and walked away.
“I think I love you too,” she said and slowly opened her eyes.